Friday, May 31, 2013

Sharing a goal....beh.

In my academic strategies class in the first week of school, we discussed how making a long term goal is great and all, but getting there is what really counts. One way of reaching your long term goal is to share it with those around you so that they can help you, even if it's just by keeping you motivated.

That only works if the people around you are positive, supportive, and can see how it will benefit them. Because let's face it, if someone thinks what you're doing will hurt them, they will tear you down every chance they get! Sometimes, "hurting them" simply means making your life better.

I finally shared my goal of cafe ownership last night. Most of the girls were really excited. But one, for who knows what reason, said, "That's a lot of work. You'll be a slave to it." Gee. Thanks for the pep talk!

"Being a slave" to the cafe is one of the things that keeps holding me back. I really didn't need to hear what a bad idea it is to open the business. I'm quite sensitive to my short comings, and really don't need or appreciate people pointing them out to me. And she's been doing it more and more. Not overtly, but in a subtle, under cutting way that hurts just the same. I feel like everything I try blows up in my face, and she's rubbing salt in the wound. The worst part is, if I want to keep dancing, I'm kind of stuck. I really want to teach, to explore my own style further, but I can't talk anyone into giving me the opportunity. Opportunities for anything I try seem to be few and far between, and most of them already taken.

It's frustrating at the best of times. Most of the time, it's just same black hole shit that I just can't seem to escape.

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