I feel like such a useless pile of fat and bones. I just can't seem to do anything right, and it's very frustrating!
Yesterday, I was trying to decide why I can't be content with being useless. I have a number of people in my life who seem utterly content to be complete wastes of space (actually, one lives with us). The only thing I can figure is that I'm smart enough to want to do something productive, but not smart enough to actually be able to do anything productive. Very frustrating.
And the housing situation is really getting to me. There's a commercial that plays far too often in my opinion that basically claims that if you don't own your own house, you are a failure and your children will be miserable and you will all die horrible deaths. Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but that is the gist of the commercial. The problem is, the cheapest house that meets our criteria is $460,000! Six months ago, I found a bigger house with more land, closer to the city for $250,000. So this basically says to me that we are screwed. We will never be able to own our own house again, we'll all die penniless and alone, miserable failures. Sigh.
Every time that stupid commercial comes on I cry. It's the tv telling me what a stupid waste of space I am. I already knew that, I didn't need the tv to confirm it, thankyouverymuch!
Actually, I think one of the worst things about my particular brand of failure is that I just keep trying. Now, I know some of you annoying optimists will claim that means eventually I'll succeed at something. But if that were true, don't you think it would've happened by now? No, my continued stubborn attempts just provide more fodder for failure. Every choice I make eventually blows in my face. Instead of taking limbs, though, the blast takes parts of my soul. Not sure how much is left there to take.