Thursday, March 21, 2013

Heroine addict

I'm staying inside away from people today so that I don't get odd looks. And if I do have to venture into public, I'll wear long sleeves.

I've never done drugs. Never even smoked pot. I'm not sure exactly why. I mean, I've had the opportunity, but just never really wanted to. At least not when I had the opportunity. Sure, I've thought about it. Even wanted to try it. But not at a party where I only know like 2 people! But this post isn't about pot. It's not even about drugs.

It's about looking like I'm on heroine.

Well, not actually. I'm pretty sure heroine addicts are skinny. And I've managed to put on another 2 pounds in the last month. I know this because I went to the doctor a month ago and got weighed, and I went to the doctor yesterday and got weighed again. The weird thing is, I was like, "Score! I only put on 2 pounds!" I had been putting on an average of about 5 a month, so this is a significant improvement. Maybe this month I won't put on any. And then it will start melting away. Probably not, but a girl can dream, right?

Anywho, I had to have blood tests to prove that my body is a fucking traitor. When the doctors can figure out what my body is currently doing to sabotage itself, they can give me pills to fix the problem. This does not factor into my traitorous body's plan, so it tries to thwart all attempts at diagnosis. It's favorite thing is to make my veins impossibly small, deep, and rollie.

Isn't this fun!

It took 3 attempts yesterday to get blood. My arms are impossibly bruised. And I suspect my body is planning the next attack for when this latest one is discovered.

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